In 2002, a secret war was being fought. No, it had nothing to do—at least not directly—with the Middle East or oil or drugs or any of those things. Why, you could say that the weapons were invisible and that it was a war of ideologies. But aren’t all wars? Hmm… It began with propaganda and—hopefully, that’s where and how it will end. It took place over the airwaves in my hometown and, I assume the airwaves and radio stations across America. I only noticed it because it touched on some topics that are—quite literally— very dear to my heart. What happened was, two songs were released over the Summer that were about single people wanting, needing to know if the person they were seeing, or dating, was the one for them—their true love. Both sides fought valiantly but one emerged victorious. This is my volley:
In one corner, we have Daniel Bedingfield. British pop singer and brother to Natasha (also a performing artist). In the other, we have Dana Glover. She’s apparently a Christian recording artist, so by that definition I don’t really know much about her as I don’t particularly care for modern Christian music. She wasn’t even a blip on my radar before I heard her song.
Daniel’s weapon of choice in this war was his song If You’re Not the One. As I took in what he was singing I realized that he was very wrong in his assessment of what a romantic relationship should be. Or at least his perception of it. You see, his song is all about his torment and indecision regarding a girl with whom he’s painfully infatuated. Lamenting the vascillation in his mind and heart, wanting more validation from his beloved for his feelings but receiving none. His misery is palpable: "If I don’t need you, then why am I crying on my bed?" He’s practicing a form of logical fallacy called begging the question or circular reasoning. This means that he’s starting with a premise (she must be my cosmically betrothed) and asking indirect questions all around to support a premise that he feels to be true—"because it is". But is plainly not—in light of logical evidence. He’s so sure that she’s the one that he’s practically worshiping her. He can feel it. But his feelings seem to be based on ethereal perception and not truth. This is very dangerous. He talks about praying but I wonder if it’s really God that would put him through such misery. Then again, men aren’t generally viewed as being as competent in these invisible things (feelings and perceptions and impressions) as are women. Bless his heart. I mean, if you don’t know…
And on the opposing side is Dana Glover. She seems to be going through a similar experience with a man who wants to make her his own. She has misgivings, sure, but she takes them to God. Whereas Daniel is feeling his way through the tangled forest of feelings, Dana is "Thinking Over". That’s the name of her song. "There are so many thoughts in my head. There are two roads to walk down and one road to choose, so I’m thinkin’ over the things that you said." I respect her dedication to a process of logic that seems to be sorely lacking in relationships these days. "Father which way should I go? I can not clearly see. Oh, I love him so, but only you know if he’s the one for me", she sings.
Sadly, Mr. Bedingfield’s song won out over Ms. Glover’s as her song fell off the radar and was not heard from again. At least not on the radio (she’s on my iPod, he isn’t). But the war for hearts and minds is far from over.
And just where do these marital assertions stand in light of Paul’s declarations regarding the same? Take a moment and read 1 Corinthinans chapter 7 and decide for yourself. Here’s the King James Version and here’s the New Living Tranlsation.
I really feel for the type of man that Daniel Bedingfield portrays in his song. And Mr. Bedingfield just needs more information, that’s all. I mean, today’s his birthday! (mine too)