No Difference

"A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. Let the brother of low degree rejoice in that he is exalted: But the rich, in that he is made low: because as the flower of the grass he shall pass away." (James 1:8-10)

By turns

Because we're confronted all the time with things—presents, futures and outcomes—that are radically different than what God showed us way back when. Things that conflict with the original vision. This, to me, is what double-mindedness is. A state of indecision as to some aspect of God's character. I feel that the states producing said feelings and corresponding thoughts will continue until we get galvanized whatever part of us that's supposed to flow in concert with that part of God. The trial will be over when it's over but until then, we turn these things over in our minds. And it really has no bearing on our physical state. We can be poor or in pain or rich and falsely mollified by any number of panaceas. It makes no difference. This, I think, is what David refers to in the following:

"Surely men of low degree are vanity and men of high degree are a lie: to be laid in the balance, they are altogether lighter than vanity." (Psalm 62:9)

By degrees 

"God hath spoken once; twice have I heard this; that power belongeth unto God. Also unto Thee, O Lord, belongeth mercy: for Thou renderest to every man according to His work." (Psalm 62: 11-12)

God will parse His mercy (that almost sounds condescending) as needed. Of course it never hurts to ask—to plead and beg for His mercy. But think about all you've already received. His mercy is that quality of staying the inevitablities our mistakes incur. There surely is some memory of the mercy and forgiveness of God during those times where all you do is wonder and wait and doubt. No? Impossible! The vacillating frames of mind and emotion come and go. I feel ninety percent different than I did when I awoke this morning. Largely in part because I spent a full day at work, buffeted by the quotidian cares and concerns that have nearly made me forget what my morning even looked like. It comes back slowly, I must say. Much like with that beautiful vision for your life that God is still aiming at. Days come and go. Sunrise, sunset. Feeling, thought and opinion. But God's plan for you looms large and awaits the next step. Regardless of feeling. Do it.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." (Jeremiah 29:11)