Holding Court

Do you have trouble attracting unwanted attention? I should like to admit that I do. It isn't because of anything I'm wearing, no. And I'm not dragging behind me a strip of toilet paper from the restroom. A quick aside, one day I observed an elderly man exiting the men's room, the aforementioned piece of toilet tissue sliding along behind him, attached to his heel. Rather than make a big deal out of it, I stepped over and onto the piece as he made his way away. In one of the oddest and clearest-cut instances of "reaping what one sows", the same thing happened to me a day or two later. I was leaving another restroom in much the same way and a gentleman standing by informed me of the same. Thank God. Because that would have been genuinely and mortifyingly embarrassing. Appeals

But back to the question at hand, how sensitive are you in a crowd? Are you able to process all the temperaments who may or may not be focused on you? Do you ever get the urge to ham it up and draw all those temperaments on a string to bear on you? If you don't, you might consider getting help. I wasn't the youngest child or anything, but there's part of me that loves to be the center of attention. Why? Sometimes I would define myself (in the eyes of others, only) as a "walking mass of contradictions". Shy one minute. Outgoing and loud the next. Vacillating all over the place while never revealing my center. Because it's none of your business. But this notion. That we have something to say. That we need some sort of validation. That there's an undercurrent--you can smell it--in the atmosphere speaking to your baser psychological needs. Oops.

We all know them. People who stand out and who you can tell know they do. They walk with an unnatural swagger and speak with a timbre of sophistication. The truth is, if you were to look in their eyes (assuming you were genuinely more intense than they), they're most-likely suffering from similar things as do your average wallflower. Maybe not. And I'm not seeking to paint a picture of "this is good" and "this is evil". When I'm comfortable with my surroundings, I unwind and tend to act more on the silly side. Do I raise my voice a little? You bet. I feel I have a strain of spontaneity born out of years of depression and its clearing up. I've been miserable. I've been morbid. I don't like it. And as such, I tend to come across on the opposite side of the spectrum.

If you're wondering where I'm going with this, don't. All I would like to say is: more power to you. The world needs more people who have things to say--who'll break out in song if they feel so inclined. While the Bible doesn't speak to "the one right way to be", it does seek to ensure your foundation on Christ is from where honest emotion, and therefore comportment, springs. Guilty.