How is your spontaneity?

Spontanaeity, to me, is one of the hallmarks of a life lived in step with the Holy Spirit. Because it's one thing to be so smart as to eventually work out all the particulars to where you exert a vice- and dictator-like grip upon your world--that will eventually spill over into controlling others. And it's quite another to be sensitive to what you are yet not have consequence attached to each and every action you perform. All this under the banner of common decency, of course.

"In that hour Jesus rejoiced in spirit..." (Luke 10:21a)

It takes so much to suppress all our proclivities and peccadilloes to walk out the door in the morning and interact with all the normal people (there is no such thing as normal). I'm being partly facetious but I hope you get what I'm saying. The idea that Jesus could express the flagrant exultation He did in spite of all the nefarious machinations brewing in the background is proof that He had access to a deeper undercurrent of joy and rejoicing. One that's ours for the tapping. But what about the aforementioned worries and fears that press in like chinks in our armor?

"Make me to hear joy and gladness..." (Psalm 51:8)

The second part of this verse reads "that the bones which Thou hast broken may rejoice." I feel that the shyness and awkwardness we feel are places in us that God holds back from being developed along the lines of the "way of the world", to quote Earth, Wind and Fire. I understand David composed this psalm in response to the loss of his and Bathsheba's child. I understand that he had built up a construct of lies that the Lord had to tear down. Call them bones. If they're not meant to be, God has to break them. The same goes for any confidences of our own that don't spring from Him.

"For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh." (Philippians 3:3)

"Confidence in the flesh". See, it's either one or the other. If you're controlling it, it's not spontaneous. And if it's not spontaneous, you're either controlling it or you're afraid. I'm talking about the fruits of the Holy Spirit. The things that bloom and blossom from God's heart that make our days and lives worth living. The bright spots we look back on and remember even as we step out our door and into the future.

First Words (Childish Things part 5)

The White Void